Swift as a Star Flicker (first and second version)

Swift As A Star Flicker (First version)

Prayer, it does ascend
Up from the mind into the air
Through the highest cumulus
In an orange dusky sky

And higher still, like a tailed comet
Out of earth’s realm of spiraling starlights
And into the black of space,
And higher still

Past a rare jeweled galaxy
With stars like sapphires, rubies, emeralds and diamonds
Where a nebulous cloud, a violet mountain births
Explodes new stars forth

A factory place, a sandcastle of space
And higher still,
To the top of the highest universe-
That second sky

Swift as a star flicker
To God’s ear
An ear pressed close to the keyhole
Of that other Kingdom’s door

An ear so fine
That it can hear
The unspoken prayer
Clear as a Trumpet’s songful blare

Zellie M. Quinn
***********************************************
Swift As A Star Flicker (second version)

Prayer, it does ascend
Up from the mind into the air
Through the highest cumulus
In an orange dusky sky

And higher still, like a tailed comet
Out of earth’s realm of spiraling starlights
And into the black of space,
And higher still

Past a rare jeweled galaxy
With stars like sapphires, rubies, emeralds and diamonds
Where a nebulous cloud, a violet mountain births
Explodes new stars forth

A factory place, a sandcastle of space
And higher still,
To the top of the highest universe-
That second sky

Swift as a star flicker
To God’s ear
An ear pressed close to the keyhole
Of that other Kingdom’s door

And God’s Spirit reaches forth,
Heaven descends,
To companion the soul
That prays.

Zellie M. Quinn

Why are there 2 versions? Well the first version was rejected by the initial editor. So I redid it, but not before I’d sent my mother the initial poem. She framed it, and sent it to me, with a backround of beautiful stars in space. Eventually the second version was accepted. (My mother to this day prefers the first version.- of course, she is my mother). As you can see, only the last 4 lines have changed. 

I posted both. You be the judge… (No disrespect to the editor. I think in the end he forced me to be creative and not get so stuck on one ending). I like both endings. For the record, yes, the Editor used the 2nd version of the poem.

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